Wednesday, May 31, 2006

Now that's what I call irony

It was Debbie's birthday the other day so I sent here an e-mail with a picture in it wot I took.

Apparently, the person who she was trying to say happy birthday to when she accidentally texted me has so far failed to send her any kind of happy birthday message in return.

Wednesday, May 24, 2006


The following are true:

1. My company paid me a four figure dividend

2. My Macintosh laptop is four years old

3. One of the hinges on my Macintosh laptop broke.

4. World of Warcraft is available as a Universal Binary.

5. The battery on my Macintosh laptop holds its charge for about 10 minutes.

Can you guess what TNT delivered me today?

Friday, May 19, 2006

Hotel Cat-afornia

Sara's flight back from India is delayed so I have to go and pick up Sparky from the cattery. I've had a look at the web page so that I know the opening times and where it is. I see it has a note on the bottom "Please note that the cattery is exclusively for cats!" What else would you put in a cattery?

Thursday, May 18, 2006

Safety in the Home

Do not read this if you are one of my parents.

I'm waiting for my Japanese customer to come on line. They are nine hours ahead and so at midnight it is 9 in the morning for them. While I am waiting I decide to have a cup of coffee, so I go down to the kitchen.

The kitchen is dark; the light bulb has blown. I have spare light bulbs but they are upstairs, so I decide to make do with the light in the fridge to guide me (I told you not to read this, Mum!). I make coffee in the microwave using all milk and Gold Blend. It's almost passable as a latte. I put milk in the mug (my Cadbury's Milk Chocolate mug given to me by Sam for Christmas) and then I walk over to where the coffee is.

The coffee is kept in one of several identical glass jars. They are designed for things like coffee, tea bags and sugar etc. In the dark, I spoon some coffee out of the jar and into the mug (Sam's mug) with milk in it and walk back to the microwave ove which is on top of the fridge. As I put the mug in the oven, I notice that the milk is incredibly white. Normally, when you put coffee in it, it goes a sort of brown coffee colour. Three possibilities, I thought: I failed to spoon any cofffee out of the jar; I spooned coffee out of the jar and deposited it on the work surface before the spoon reached the mug; I spooned something else out of a different jar. I taste the milk. It doesn't have the sweetness associated with sugar or the saltiness associated with salt. There's no teabag floating in it.

I assume that there is coffee all over the worksurface, which I'll clean up tomorrow, or later this week at some point I promise, and go back for more coffee. This time I leave both fridge and microwave door open for more light. I successfully deposit coffee into the mug (which was a present from Sam). I cook it in the microwave (one minute, stir vigorously and then another minute).

I go back upstairs and drink the coffee. When I get near the bottom, I feel something a bit lumpy on my tongue. I spit it back into the mug (it had chocolate in it when Sam gave it to me) which I examine.

The mug has a teaspoon of rice in the bottom.

Wednesday, May 10, 2006

Talk Radio

Radio 4's Down the Line has to be the funniest thing I've heard for ages. It's supposed to be a radio phone in show, but I think it may be a spoof.


Sunday, May 07, 2006

Under the Wire

Thanks to West Ham we have scraped into the Champions League for next year.

However, there appears to have been some skulldugery.

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